(in a french accent)
Allo,
Zis is your CEO here, Jean-Marc Espalioux. Head of Accor, and king of the world. I wish I could be there in Wollongong tonight to share your good times and wish you all a 'appy new year, but I am in my Lear jet chasing the millennium around the globe with my 6 gorgeous personal assistants.
1999 has been a fantastic year for Accor, and I thank you all for working your guts out for me. I haven’t done a day’s work in my life, so I really appreciate your efforts to keep me in the lifestyle that I am accustomed to.
All I ask for 2000, is that you work even harder, especially when I cut your pay by half and double your hours. Remember Accor 2000 - Succeeding together, is the catch cry for the next 1000 years, and I hope to see you all then, oh actually, you will all be dead, but I will still be here thanks to modern science and my massive pay cheque.
Please recycle all your toilet paper, Kleenex and cigarette butts, as we need to cut costs. Don’t use a light in the toilet. Remember, I am watching you on my video screen. Allo - I can see you now! Hey, Beach Bar staff - stop enjoying yourselves so much when you work. It looks bad to the shareholders.
By ze way, Beach Bar Staff! From now on, I want you to pick up all the broken glass in the beach bar and glue zem back together. We can't afford to waste all zat glass, and I need to buy a new mansion in the riviera! And no more line-ups - let zem all in and serve them as quick as you damn well can. Merci Beaucoup.
For the rest of the staff, you are all doing a fantastic job, but you could do it much better, we may be the biggest hotel chain in the world, but we want to be bigger. No more lunch breaks. And no more parties like this! You should be ashamed of yourselves!
All the very best for the Next Millennium, to all those staff in Woolongong, down there in the beautiful Country of Australia. I will wave to you from my Lear Jet as we fly over some time on New Years Eve. Au Revoiur, Bon Voyage, Cest la Vie, and Voules Vou Coucher Avec Moi!
Oh, By Ze way, that Stefan guy, who sings there, he is Formidable!! Give him a pay rise, and cut his hours down. And make sure he gets 5 bottles of Moet & Chandon to take home with him tonight. Merci Beaucoup!
Enjoy ze rest of the evening.
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