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Usually I delete all SEO spam that arrives in my inbox, but I decided to stop for a minute and take a closer look, to see:

• How much of this stuff I was getting every day and
• Just what kinds of styles and techniques are being used to try to get me to use the SEO services of these spammers.

The other ironic and slightly devious thought I had was that I could use these SEO spam emails and actually get some value out of them.  After all, they have cost me in wasted time and annoyance.  I can post them all on my Website and get Google to index all their keyword content, and get some real SEO value out of them!  Or not…

It’s all very informative and entertaining stuff!  A mix of badly written copy, badly programmed automation scripts and offers that I must refuse, because half the time, I can’t even tell what the offer is.  I guess I am just supposed to phone them and give them my credit card details to kick things off… : )  SEO

Spam #1

Stefan.net.au Team, I thought you might like to know some of the reasons why you are not getting enough Social Media and Organic search engine traffic for Stefan.net.au

(I actually don’t want any social media and organic search traffic.  I don’t know why they presume that I do)

1. Social profile is not available in top Social Media Websites.

(Actually it is.  I have facebook, blogger, twitter, MySpace, YouTube and about 10 others)

2. Your site has 0 Google back links, this can be improved further.

(It has a few back links.  ‘Zero’ is a bit harsh!)

There are many additional improvements that could be made to your Website, and if you would like to learn about them, and are curious to know what our working together would involve, then I would be glad to provide you with a detailed analysis in the form of a WEBSITE AUDIT REPORT for FREE.

(Of course I can improve my Website.  Every Website in the world can be improved – Even Facebook just upgraded their interface, and though they might need a better share price, they certainly are not short of search engine traffic.  If I would like to learn about them, I could always Google ‘how to improve your Website’ or, I could audit my site myself.  Perhaps I should ask for that free report and find out what working together would involve…)

Our clients consistently tell us that their customers find them because they are at the top of the Google search rankings.  Being at the top left of Google (#1–#3 organic positions) is the best thing you can do for your company's Website traffic and online reputation.

(Ironically, the reason I am getting this email is because you found me in Google, and I have received this kind of email from more than three people… so if four or more of you are telling me you can get me in the top three ranking, someone is winding me up)

Sounds interesting?  Feel free to email us or alternatively you can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you.

(That is a strange request, as my phone number is on my Website)

Best Regards,
Nancy Brown SEO Consultant

(John Smith?  Susan Jones?  Mary White?  Fred Flintstone?)

SEO Spam #2

It’s a fact:  more people find out about your business on Facebook or Twitter than on search engines.

(I am wondering if it might have been worth providing some data to support this ‘fact’.  And do you mean my business in particular, or businesses in general?  Because either way that would be hard to prove…)

Making these sites work may be tricky for you, but it’s business as usual for us.  Let us improve your visibility and enhance your image.  It’s part of our complete Internet Marketing package.  We’ll be more than your friends – we’ll be your partners.

Stella Fair

(“Complete Internet Marketing package”?  That is a bold statement.  Complete Internet Marketing is essentially infinite in scale.  When you said we could be more than friends, are you talking love and marriage?)

SEO Spam #3

The Web is getting more crowded all the time.  If you’d rather not get lost in the crowd, we can help you be a whole lot more visible.  The system is easy:  Search Engine Optimisation is the key.  Help us help you get more business. Best SEO Company Ivan Ballard

(At least that is clear and to the point.  I’d almost get back to this guy, except that I Googled his name and found an empty LinkedIn profile and no mention of SEO.  In fact, if I type in “Ivan Ballard Best SEO company” all I get is numerous versions of this same email posted all over the Internet as comments to blog posts.)

SEO Spam #4

Hi Sir/Madam,

We are happy to announce a very attractive Christmas and New Year Offer on our different SEO packages discount ranging from 10–25%.

(But I don’t know what the packages and prices were to start with!)

In brief, we are a Delhi-NCR, India-based, leading Web services and Google certified partner company that specialises in SEO (Search Engine Optimisation).  As an outsourcing vendor we have partnered with many reputable SEO agencies based in USA, UK, Canada and Australia.

(I would like to check your credentials, but you haven’t identified the name of your company, even though you say you comply with the Can Spam Act of 2003)

We have a dedicated team of 300 professionals who are backed by experience and expertise.  We provide both SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) and SEM solutions to achieve top rankings on major search engines such as Google, Yahoo and Bing for your Website and requirements.

(Again, I would love to know more, but there is no Website to check)

(offer is valid only for the month of December 2011)

(What offer?  I don’t know what the packages are.)

Our principles on which we base our work:

– Ethical processes and white hat techniques

(That’s a relief, I would hate to hear that you practice unethical black hat techniques, like spamming)

– Agency or client oriented approach in our process

(In other words, we pay you money either way)

– Ready to sign NDAs (Non-Disclosure Agreements)

(You sign ours, or we sign yours?)

– White label for client re-selling and re-branding

(Can I re-brand and re-send this white label email to 10,000,000 people?)

– Facility to provide effective Online Project Management tracking tools

(Show me)

– Frequent reporting with required formats and information

(For example?)

– Timely and smooth communication

(This email is certainly ‘smooth’)

We can ensure that you will enjoy high SERP (Search Engine Result Page) rankings with our high track record of success.  Our SEO solutions will help increase the traffic and sales of your Website.

(Sounds good.  Where do I sign?)

Please get in touch with us to discuss your SEO requirements and more details about our Christmas offer.

(Merry Christmas to you, too)

Kind Regards,
Priyanka Jain
Manager of the Marketing Department Delhi-NCR, (India)

P.S.  This is an advertisement and a promotional mail strictly on the guidelines of CAN-SPAM act of 2003.  We have clearly mentioned the source mail-id of this mail, also clearly mentioned the subject lines and they are in no way misleading in any form.  We have found your mail address through our own efforts on the Web search and not through any illegal way.  If you find this mail unsolicited, please reply with "Remove" in the subject line and we will take care that you do not receive any further promotional mail.

(I am pretty sure that to avoid being accused of spamming, you must identify the name of your company, not just your occupation and geographic location)

SEO Spam #5

It’s an old truth:  people won’t beat a path to your door if they don’t know where your door is.  If you’re high on the Google list, the door to your business is right there to see and to use.  We can improve your rankings so the door stays open.  Email us now and we’ll tell you how our expert Search Engine Optimisation staff can provide you with the key.

(I love the door and key analogy, I hope you don’t mind if I use that one in my own marketing materials…)

Homer Castaneda

(I Googled Homer and the only place he comes up on the Internet is as posts of exactly the same material on various blog comments, or people saying they received his email.  Surely Homer would be all over the Internet as an SEO guru, with everyone beating a path to his door, if he really did hold the key.)

SEO Spam #6

Dear Webmaster,
Greetings of the day!

(Greetings of the day to you, too, even though it is 11pm)

My name is Jones, and I work as an Online Link Building Manager with Mosaic ITES Service Pty Ltd.  I would like to discuss a business opportunity with you.

(Alias Smith and Jones?  I Googled them and they actually do exist!  They have a LinkedIn and CrunchBase profile and everything.  Their Website does not look great and has quite a few technical issues, like broken images.  That is not the kind of thing that gives me confidence with letting them get their hands on my Website’s code!)

Link Building is one of the most significant aspects of the Off Page Optimisation process.  It is a major determinant of the popularity of your site and given maximum weightage by Search Engine algorithms.

(Actually, you must be careful, because Google has become quite wary of excessive link building and you can actually harm your ranking if your external links are of consistently low quality – it is almost at the stage where you ought to hire a company like this for your competitors to send them down the Google ranking list!)

Keeping in mind the latest developments in search engine algorithms and industry trends, we have launched two new services:

1.  Geo-specific Link Building:  Thematic one-way links with high PR from specified country/continent.  We provide links from whichever domain you require; we are the first Indian company to launch this service.

(That claim is a big one and very hard to prove, unless you have some evidence of a newspaper report or something

The links will come with the following parameters:

– Theme-based relevant link
– Manually built, without using link farming/link harvesting/automated back-linking techniques.
– Only from quality sites
– Permanent links
– Search Engine friendly
– Full report of the exact placement for verification, as well as a dedicated Account Manager for each project.

(That does sound very good, however, one wonders just exactly how they plan to do this.  Those parameters imply that the SEO company has way more control over third-party sites than one imagines possible.)

2.  Dedicated Resource Hiring:  We will provide a dedicated Link Builder with at least 3–4 years of experience, who would work exclusively for your project, more like an employee and would be able to provide you with:
– Thematic One-way links
– Contextual links
– Link wheel
– Blogs links.

(More like an employee – at least I don’t have to pay PAYG tax, super and Workers Compensation.  I hope you have good OH&S.  Somehow I suspect that my ‘employee’ will only be getting a tiny fraction of the money I send to this company, so may harbour a deep resentment to his employer and not care as much as I might hope)

For search engines, back links or links pointing to your Website indicate that you are ‘hot’ in the online marketplace.

(Or it might also indicate to Google that you just paid someone to do link-building for you, as Google is very clever these days and can tell genuine links and genuinely ‘hot’ online properties creating a real buzz)

We have a fantastic track record of building more than 2, 00,000 links in the year 2011 and have successfully completed more than 400 campaigns, all one way.

(Is that a typo of a missing zero, making it 2 million, or an extra comma and space, making it 200,000?  Maybe the 400 is a typo too, then it is actually 4)

If you are interested, we would be happy to share our proposal, recent works and client testimonials.

(Probably would be good if you just sent them first, oh hang on, there is a link below… I’ll check that)

Looking forward to your reply!

Best Regards,
Jones
Online Link Building Manager
seotechnologygrouponline.com

(seotechnologygrouponline.com – “This account has been suspended” – I guess it was really 4)

SEO Spam #7

Online enquiry form submission:

Your Name:  Maria Wilson

Email Address:  webfirms.service@gmail.com 

Company/Organisation:  NA

Phone:  (347) 329-2976

Message:  Team, I thought you might like to know some of the reasons why you are not getting enough Social Media and Organic search engine traffic
1. Social profile is not available in top Social Media Websites.
2. Your site has 9 Google back links.  This can be improved further.

There are many additional improvements that could be made to your Website, and if you would like to learn about them, and are curious to know what our working together would involve, then I would be glad to provide you with a detailed analysis in the form of a WEBSITE AUDIT REPORT for FREE.  Our clients consistently tell us that their customers find them because they are at the top of the Google search rankings.  Being at the top left of Google (#1–#3 organic positions) is the best thing you can do for your company's Website traffic and online reputation.  Sounds interesting?  Feel free to email us or alternatively you can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you...........

(This is the same email as we received already, from ‘Nancy Brown’.  This time ‘Maria Wilson’ has provided a phone number.  I Googled it and the top Search Engine result for her phone number is a site called “Rip Off Report” along with other sites like “Stop Forum Spam”.  Not quite the best reputation I would expect from someone I might entrust my SEO services to)/em>

Stay tuned for more Spam!